Saturday, January 16, 2010


I started going to the "Y" to get in shape and after working out went to the showers before going home. My friend Andrew was in the shower also and commented on how fat I am. I said, "Yeah, I love to eat." Then he asked how long it had been since I'd seen my pecker and I had to admit it had been awhile. Then he asked, "Why don't you diet?" I asked him, "Why, what color is it?"
Bought one of those talking scales (since I couldn't see the numbers without tipping over) but I took it back to the store when I got on it and it said, "One at a time please."
I buried my ex-lover three days ago and I swear, if I knew he would be able to dig himself out I would have buried him face down. I don't mean to be evil, BUT, he was so simple minded that I used to let him hide his own Easter eggs and wrap his own Christmas and birthday presents.

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